Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Lazy ass bullet point post

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned.  It has been almost 3 weeks since my last blog post.

In my defence, it's been a busy couple of weeks.  First we had to finish our prenatal classes, then we spent the better part of the next two weekends painting and organizing the nursery (almost done!).  And I've been useless in the evenings.  My boss chose a spectacular time to go off and have surgery on his torn ACL, leaving me in charge for the next few weeks as he recuperates.  5pm onward generally looks like this: get home, walk dog, make dinner, put on cozy pants, eat dinner, park ass on couch, and zone out with Netflix until bedtime.  I keep waiting for that "burst of energy" the books all tell me I'm going to get that will kick my nesting instinct into gear, but it hasn't happened yet.  Instead, I mostly feel like this:

I'm not lazy.  I'm just very motivated to do nothing.

The third trimester has definitely given me a new appreciation for some of life's simpler pleasures.  Things like rolling over in bed with ease, or tying up one's winter boots without sounding like an asthmatic warthog.  Before anyone craps on me, I'm not complaining.  I'm ecstatic to be lucky enough to be in the position of sounding like an asthmatic warthog.  But it's also safe to say that pregnancy does some pretty effed up shit to your body that no amount of reading and research can prepare you for.  And I haven't even gotten to the labour part yet!

Likely due to in part my new level of laziness, combined with the fact that I'm really really boring right now, I honestly don't even have much to blog about.  I've managed scrounge together the following bullet points:
  • Despite the fact that I'm still squeezing into my normal winter coat (and don't think my zipper doesn't HATE me for it), I apparently now look pregnant enough to the general public to get offered seats on crowded public transit.  I've yet to take anyone up on their offer, mostly because I've only been on for short rides, but it's pretty cool to see that common human decency isn't totally dead.  M thinks I should have fun with it and scowl back and say, "I'm not pregnant."  My husband can be a real jerk.
  • Applying for maternity leave benefits is a giant pain in the ass.  I'd been warned that every time someone in my organization applies for mat leave, it's like she's the first woman to ever become pregnant at work EVER.  Hilariously, there are three of us due within a few months of each other and we've all been told completely different things.  By the same HR rep.
Business Cat would probably just want to eat my placenta. 
  • I have two baby showers coming up over the next two weekends, one in Ottawa (where I used to live a few years ago and still have a bunch of girlfriends) and another one here in Toronto.  For the Toronto one, two separate friends approached me offering to host, and not wanting to exclude anyone I suggested perhaps they could plan it together.  It was a particularly genius move on my part, since one of them is the disorganized artsy type and the other one is Type-A overachiever organized.  They may both kill me yet.
  • I'm really really enjoying poking myself in the belly and trying to figure out what parts of Chalupa Batman are what.  I still have no frigging clue.  I have no idea how a nurse can look at me for 6.5 seconds and put a Doppler smack dab on his heartbeat, or poke me with a finger and tell me where his head is.  It's voodoo, I tell you.
That's it for me!  Hopefully soon I'll be in a position to share a few nursery pictures.  I think I'm finally feeling like we're somewhat prepared!


  1. Laziness is good! enjoy! Glad to read the update and boring is GOOD!

  2. I am pro-laziness! Still in that state every evening, unfortunately. Glad to hear you're doing well, good luck with maternity benefits (I smell a fabulous blog post) and hope the showers are nothing short of awesome!

  3. Good to hear from you! Lazy and boring are generally good things at this stage if pregnancy. Keep it up! Can't wait to see CB's nursery!

  4. I was just thinking about you!! You put the third trimester perfectly. Just motivated to do nothing. Yup. Until you nest. Then everyone best get out your way!!

  5. Lazy is good- especially in the third trimester!!

    I could never figure out where Izzy was in my belly and I'm not sure I ever tried to pay attention. In the third trimester it was a lot of, well, there is something that is high up in my belly and making it hard to breathe, so I will push down on it in hopes that I can ease some of the pressure. And then later after she dropped there was definitely the "I have to pee all of the time because some part of the baby is pushing on my bladder". Maybe it's because I had an anterior placenta and it was like a cushion between Izzy and the outside of my belly but I couldn't figure out where she was.

  6. I think I've only gained 16 pounds because it's still very winter here and I have to put on snow boots every day. And right now I'm pretty sure that counts as a full cardio workout. It certainly feels like one! Also still waiting for that energy burst. Good job on your nursery - can't wait to see pics!

  7. Lol about the asthmatic warthog comment!
    Happy to hear that you are still doing well, and excited to see the nursery pictures.

  8. Yay! Can't wait to see the nursery!

  9. Ah HA! Coz you didn't have me poking you for posting that's why you haven't posted! Wonderful to see an update, although I was hoping for a bump photo. I hope to see nursery photos as well as photos of the baby showers! It's getting so close now, friend! So exciting!

  10. In a weird way, it's comforting to know maternity leave is just as confusing in Canada!

  11. Lazy is good right now. After baby, things tend to get a little hectic :)

  12. I know what you mean about the discomfort and pain of the 3rd trimester (even though I feel blessed). Have fun at your showers and can't wait to see your nursery!

  13. yeah, no amount of warning can prepare you for the third trimester, right? i told a newly pregnant friend the other day, without thinking of how scary it sounded, that the third trimester is kind of horrible a lot of the time. she blanched. but i remember a friend telling me that being eight months pregnant for her was the equivalent of being hit by a Mac truck, and i just laughed, naive...take good care of your warthog self. xo!

  14. You are right that you just really can't appreciate what pregnancy feels like until you expreience it for yourself. It's crazy what our bodies are capable of. Lazy is good. Take advantage of that now because pretty soon you will have a little one that won't allow you to be lazy anymore! I'm so happy for you that you are getting to experience this and finally become a MOM!

    Crazy that the same HR person told all 3 of you different things. That doesn't even make sense!

  15. I could never figure out body parts, either. Even right after an ultrasound and I should have known exactly how they were positioned.

    Your evenings sound very similar to mine. After putting the kids to bed at 7, it's all I can manage to wash a few dishes and heat something up for dinner. Then I spend the next 2 or 3 hours zoning out on the couch.

  16. Its almost over!!



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