Wednesday, 20 December 2017


Exactly one week ago today, I gave birth to this little dude!

Meet baby I

The weird thing about a scheduled c-section is just how normal the whole process feels, despite the fact that you're about to be sliced open and have another human being hoisted out of your innards.  

While my first c-section wasn't strictly an emergency, there was enough urgency to it that things passed in a bit of a blur.  This time around, I got to have nice leisurely chit-chats with my anesthesiologist and the OB who would be performing the surgery (since my own had to bail at the last minute for a high-risk delivery).  I surprised myself at how calm I was about the whole thing, right up until the point that the anesthesiologist was about to put in my spinal block.  I was hooked up to a heart rate monitor at that point, and he asked if I was nervous and commented that he could see my heart rate going up a little bit.  I replied something to the effect of "Well, you ARE about to cut me open, so there's that" which the nurses agreed seemed pretty reasonable.

The surgery went off without a hitch and at 3:24pm baby I entered the world at 8 pounds 4 ounces.  The biggest difference this time around was that, while Q had a few breathing difficulties that necessitated a quick visit to the respiratory unit, M and I were able to hold baby I pretty much straight away, which was a lovely distraction from the stitching up process.

So here we are, a family of four!  Right now we're smack in the middle of the transition process, which has been both amazing and challenging.  Amazing in that Q was absolutely thrilled to meet his baby brother and has been beyond gentle with him, asking to hold him and then gently touching his tiny features with a huge smile on his face.  Challenging in that Q was a MUCH better sleeper/eater right off the bat, whereas I has been going through some pretty fierce day/night confusion and cluster feeding so that's been putting us through our paces.  I knew we had gotten off easy the first time, but maybe not exactly HOW easy.  But with a little help from M's mom, who stayed with us until yesterday, we've been muddling through and I'm confident we'll find our feet soon.  

Who would ever have thought when I started this blog five (5?!?!?!) years ago that this would be where we'd end up?  But here we are.  Me and my boys.  


Monday, 16 October 2017

Pregnant Pause

OK, so that was definitely longer than I planned to go since my last post.  There's suspense, then there's just being a jerk about it.

I don't blame you.

I know there are still a few of you out there, so for those that have been wondering, yes in fact we got lucky again the second time around.  I'm currently 30 (30!) weeks pregnant with baby #2.  To answer some of the most frequently asked questions:
  • How are you feeling? - Pretty good, although overall I've definitely been finding this pregnancy a bit rougher than my first.  I think I can mostly chalk that up to the fact that on top of dealing with the usual pregnancy fatigue / aches and pains, this time I can't just lie down when I feel like it and instead have to chase a very active 2.5 year old around.  Hence the reason why I've started to write this blog post about a million times and never finished it.  Sleep is just so much more enticing.
  • When are you due? - Official due date is December 21, but apparently because I'm really really old (and an IVF patient with a previous C-section under my belt) they won't let me go past 39 weeks this time.  If I don't go into labour on my own, I'm scheduled for a C-section on December 13th.  I'm OK with this, and if I'm being completely honest I think I'd prefer it that way.  I got enough of a taste of (induced) labour last time to feel like I'm not really missing out on anything, and I've already got the C-section scar going for me so I kind of feel like we should keep the rest of the downtown core in its original condition if at all possible.
  • Finding out the sex? - Done and done.  It's another boy!  I was a bit surprised to actually find myself hoping for a second boy, but watching how physical Q is with his male playmates I really started to think that he needed a little brother.  It's totally stereotypical and maybe this second kiddo won't be anything like him, but it also makes life generally easier in terms of passing on clothes, toys, etc.  So yeah, no little girl in our future, but I have my niece for that and I'm OK with it.
  • Does Q understand what's going on? - Yes and no.  He understands there's a baby in mommy's belly (he even outed me to his daycare before I told them) and knows it's going to be a baby brother.  Whether he appreciates that in a few short months there'll be another baby in the house that he can't get rid of is another story.  He is super cute and affectionate with his 9-month old baby cousin, however, so I'm really hoping that continues for the new baby.
  • Going to try for any more?  FUCK NO.  What are you, nuts?  Why do people EVER have more than two children?  At that point you're outmanned and outgunned.  Half the time the two of us can barely handle Q, and I start to wonder if we were insane to even consider another one, but that's kind of shutting the barn door after the horses are long gone.
And there you have it.  My long overdue update!  Thanks to everyone who's reached out and wondered what's been going on with me.  I can't promise I'm going to start blogging with any more regularity (as a matter of fact, I can pretty much assure you I won't) but I will definitely update once little man #2 makes his appearance. 

Tuesday, 4 April 2017


Tomorrow, our little man will be two!

How are we celebrating, you ask?

Err...well...we're world class parents.  We left him with his grandparents and flew to Prague to try to make him a sibling.

This morning we did a frozen embryo transfer of one hatching 5AB blastocyst.  So yeah, I'm PUPO again!  The timing sucks, but after the delay caused by my never-ending miscarriage this summer, this was just how things worked out.  Everything went smoothly.  The only tiny hiccup was that our embryos had been frozen in pairs, and the Czech clinic seemed really against refreezing the one we didn't want to transfer.  But I honestly don't know how I would manage twins with Q around, so we initially agreed to discard the unused embryo.  Then we had second thoughts because it's a 4AA and who in their right mind discards a 4AA??  So we went back and told them we changed our minds and wanted the leftover one revitrified, even though it basically doubled our cost.  Everything online tells me that the chances are still good on a second thaw, despite the Czech clinic insisting it stresses the embryo too much, so there you go.  

In the meantime, updates from Grandma indicate that Q is holding up well.  Which is nice, because the howl he let out when we said bye bye nearly made me want to turn around and cancel everything. Missing his birthday makes me feel exceptionally shitty, but I know he won't remember and it means nothing to him right now.  We'll have a party when we're back and all will be right with the world.

So, what can I say about our little guy so that you can understand just how truly awesome he is?  Stats don't do it justice, and I don't have any anyway.  Unless you count his words, which I stopped tracking after he passed 200.  The "language explosion" DEFINITELY happened in our house between 18 and 24 months, and he pretty much surprises us on the daily with a new word we had no idea he knew.  All those worries about his speech development were quite obviously unfounded.

Personality wise, he is fun-loving and exceptionally easy going.  His daycare providers have also noticed his ease with transitions, and at home this means that most (though certainly not all) tantrums can be nipped in the bud with a distraction like a squirrel outside or a tractor video on YouTube.  

TRACTORS.  I know more about fucking tractors than I ever wanted.  A few months ago our neighbours were redoing their front steps and had a small Kubota rented to lift the stone.  Q fell in love with the damn thing, so one day to quell a rising storm I Googled "tractor videos for kids" and our world hasn't been the same since.  Now he'll bring us the iPad asking for "tactor" when he wants to watch, which we try not to do too often.  But yeah, the no screen time under two rule doesn't work in our house.  If I had a kid who would sit and play with a toy for 15 minutes while I make dinner, sure, but instead I have one who jumps on the couch so rather than letting him kill himself I pick the lesser of two evils which is YouTube tractors and a bowl of goldfish crackers.

Other loves include basketball ("backieball") and garbage cans.  Yes, I have a delightfully weird kid.  He has his own made-up word for garbage ("argo") and when we take the dog for walks he chatters non-stop about "argo cans".  "Argo cans!" he shouts and points from his stroller.  "Anonna (another) Argo cans!  Boo (blue) argo cans! Geen (green) argo cans!"  The other day when we got home from daycare he literally ran up the driveway and HUGGED our garbage bin.  He loves finding random trash in the park and putting it in the garbage can.  He'll have a brilliant future in sanitation management, I'm sure.  

What else? He's a pretty good eater and still loves all fruit, although he also now loves typical kid stuff like pizza and "i keem" (ice cream).  He's also still a ball of energy, and I'm confident now that he's outside the norm there given that every single caregiver at his daycare has at come point commented on how busy he is compared to the other kids.  Here's hoping this isn't an early indicator of ADHD or something!  But he has learned to slow down a little, and will sit and cuddle with us and read books.  His hugs are the best thing ever, although he's also working on saying "I love you" (I you you, Mommy) so that's pretty damn awesome too.

I could keep writing about all the cute little things he does and how I've started using little Q-isms in my own conversations with M, but I'm realizing that none of it will ever do him justice so you're just gonna have to take my word for the fact that he is the best kid ever.  And that's completely unbiased and objective, of course.

Anyway, happy birthday Q!  Hopefully when you're older we'll be able to tell you how we went to get you a baby brother or sister for your second birthday.  We love you!!