Timing is everything

Our frozen transfer date has been set for next Saturday.  I'm a week away from my last shot at having a baby that'll actually be related to me.  

The whole timing thing has actually worked out well for a change.  When I started this cycle I was a little worried, because judging by my first FET calendar I would have been scheduled for the transfer while M is away on a business trip.  My initial gut was to just go ahead anyway, but for a guy who actually missed our first transfer M was surprisingly insistent on being there this time around.  We even had a bit of a heated exchange about it, since if the timing wasn't going to work out for a January transfer he wanted me to put things off for a another month.  Of course that was the last thing I wanted to do after all the waiting we've already done.  Luckily it was all a non-issue, since it's apparently not that big a deal to have me "coast" on Estrace for a few extra days before starting my progesterone.  My clinic is also pretty strict about three days of bed rest post-transfer, which would be impossible with me needing to walk Buddy while M is out of town.  Even though I'm not sold on the science of bed rest (and hence didn't really follow it the first time, although I definitely took it easy) I'll probably try it just for the sake of doing whatever I can since M will be back to be my bitch take care of me.

It's also good that the FET is scheduled for a Saturday, since the past couple of weeks at work have been some of the busiest I've had in a very long time.  I worked last weekend to get ahead on a bunch of stuff, and while I haven't been putting in overtime this past week (again, impossible since I have to get home to walk the dog at a reasonable hour while M is away) it's safe to say that it's not a great time for me to take a ton of days off of work.  The fact that I'll only need two days off instead of four is definitely a good thing.  

I've been thinking a lot about whether I would consider myself "stressed", and whether what's been going on at the office is in some way making this a less than ideal time for a transfer.  While I know that we in the IF community are the first ones to say that stress doesn't cause infertility and to reject the advice of "just relax", I think we all also realize that excessive stress is a bad thing that should be limited if possible for a whole bunch of health reasons.  So am I under "excessive" stress?  I don't think so.  While my workload is heavier than usual, I'm actually relishing having lots to do since I'm someone who absolutely hates having too much down time at work.  To me, I'd rather be super busy than spend 8 hours twiddling my thumbs, and I find that a busy day at work translates to a higher energy level when I get home.  I have the momentum to keep moving and get things done, which means a cleaner house and less neglected chores, whereas if I've just been sitting bored at my desk all day I'm more likely to crash on the couch and do nothing when I get home.  I like to think that right now I'm in that sweet spot where I have just enough low-level stress at work to energize me, without turning into the high-level "pressure" kind of stress that's unhealthy.

Oh, what the hell do I know?  All I can say is that right now I feel good, and having lots to do at work is preventing me from obsessing about the transfer and spending all day Googling things like blastocyst freeze/thaw rates and implantation success rates based on embryo grading.  Down that path lies madness, and none of it will do one whit to change whatever's going to happen next Saturday.

Next Saturday.  Shit.  After all this time, it's finally almost here.  Gulp.