Sunday, 19 January 2014

Timing is everything

Our frozen transfer date has been set for next Saturday.  I'm a week away from my last shot at having a baby that'll actually be related to me.  

The whole timing thing has actually worked out well for a change.  When I started this cycle I was a little worried, because judging by my first FET calendar I would have been scheduled for the transfer while M is away on a business trip.  My initial gut was to just go ahead anyway, but for a guy who actually missed our first transfer M was surprisingly insistent on being there this time around.  We even had a bit of a heated exchange about it, since if the timing wasn't going to work out for a January transfer he wanted me to put things off for a another month.  Of course that was the last thing I wanted to do after all the waiting we've already done.  Luckily it was all a non-issue, since it's apparently not that big a deal to have me "coast" on Estrace for a few extra days before starting my progesterone.  My clinic is also pretty strict about three days of bed rest post-transfer, which would be impossible with me needing to walk Buddy while M is out of town.  Even though I'm not sold on the science of bed rest (and hence didn't really follow it the first time, although I definitely took it easy) I'll probably try it just for the sake of doing whatever I can since M will be back to be my bitch take care of me.

It's also good that the FET is scheduled for a Saturday, since the past couple of weeks at work have been some of the busiest I've had in a very long time.  I worked last weekend to get ahead on a bunch of stuff, and while I haven't been putting in overtime this past week (again, impossible since I have to get home to walk the dog at a reasonable hour while M is away) it's safe to say that it's not a great time for me to take a ton of days off of work.  The fact that I'll only need two days off instead of four is definitely a good thing.  

I've been thinking a lot about whether I would consider myself "stressed", and whether what's been going on at the office is in some way making this a less than ideal time for a transfer.  While I know that we in the IF community are the first ones to say that stress doesn't cause infertility and to reject the advice of "just relax", I think we all also realize that excessive stress is a bad thing that should be limited if possible for a whole bunch of health reasons.  So am I under "excessive" stress?  I don't think so.  While my workload is heavier than usual, I'm actually relishing having lots to do since I'm someone who absolutely hates having too much down time at work.  To me, I'd rather be super busy than spend 8 hours twiddling my thumbs, and I find that a busy day at work translates to a higher energy level when I get home.  I have the momentum to keep moving and get things done, which means a cleaner house and less neglected chores, whereas if I've just been sitting bored at my desk all day I'm more likely to crash on the couch and do nothing when I get home.  I like to think that right now I'm in that sweet spot where I have just enough low-level stress at work to energize me, without turning into the high-level "pressure" kind of stress that's unhealthy.

Oh, what the hell do I know?  All I can say is that right now I feel good, and having lots to do at work is preventing me from obsessing about the transfer and spending all day Googling things like blastocyst freeze/thaw rates and implantation success rates based on embryo grading.  Down that path lies madness, and none of it will do one whit to change whatever's going to happen next Saturday.

Next Saturday.  Shit.  After all this time, it's finally almost here.  Gulp.

26 comments:

  1. I am so happy that you are feeling good and confident about this. Even happier you are staying away from that evil ass google! I have everything crossed for you and hoping that you will be happily announcing your pregnancy in a few weeks!

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    1. Well, let's not confuse feeling good with feeling confident! But I guess one out of two ain't bad. ;)

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  2. You'll be PUPO in less than a week!!! Praying for the BEST outcome! XO

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  3. Fingers, toes, legs & any thing else I have - crossed!

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  4. I think it's impossible not to function in the real world and not have some sort off stress in your life, but it 's more important to look at how you are handling it, and it seems like you're in a good balance '

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  5. I'm so glad the timing of all of this worked out so M can be there and take care of you while you're on bed rest. I think it does help to stay busy leading up to the big day, and I hope you've got lots of distractions lined up for those 3 days (!) at home. Sending all kinds of positive thoughts and vibes your way!

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  6. OMG! So excited for you Aramis! I know its so hard...but I'm sending you zen-like peace. It just seems like you guys have done everything possible to make this specific cycle successful....so take a deep breath and keep reminding yourself that "you're doing the best that you can". I'll be keeping EVERYTHING crossed for you guys!!

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  7. I would also rather be busy at work than twiddle my thumbs! of course I am ALWAYS at my current job but I remember having jobs in the past where there wasn't enough responsibility or stuff to do and it was almost depressing. I agree that lots of work by itself doesn't cause stress - it's how we react to the pressures and whether or not we feel in control. You sound like you have a great plan leading up to the FET and for the time after it so I don't think you should worry. 3 days bed rest post transfer? is that common? I certainly would do that if it would help an embryo implant (even though I'd hate it) but it kind of surprises me as I have never heard of such a requirement. I'm glad that M is going to be there for you, and I'm sending a ton of good wishes and thoughts as you get closer to the big day. xo

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    1. Three days bed rest is definitely NOT standard. But Vanessa at Yeah Science! also went to my clinic and she got the same instructions, and it clearly worked for her (though she's not DOR and seemingly had awesome eggs). I was skeptical myself so I read a lot online and found studies that basically say that there's no definitive proof either way. Light activity, no activity, full bed rest...it doesn't seem to matter for implantation rates. I generally think if it's going to implant, it will do so whether you go for a walk or sit on your ass, as long as you're not running a marathon (and I'm sure there's people that have gotten pregnant that way too!). I'm sure I'll be bored and will get up and putter about, but at the very least having the days off work will be nice.

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  8. I hate having nothing to do at work. It just makes the day drag on and somehow even the internet becomes boring. It's funny but I get way more accomplished in life when I am working than when I am between jobs and have all the time in the world.
    I was never sold on bed rest but my doctor required it so I followed instructions. Watch funny movies and shows during your bed rest. Some study says laughter helps. Who knows?

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  9. I'm thinking of you Aramis!

    For what it's worth, from my read of the SART data, the grim outlook for DOR girls is virtually erased once you make it to transfer (since so many of us never do). So your odds at this point should be just about as good as Vanessa's...

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  10. Good luck next weekend! Google has been my best friend and worst enemy throughout my TTC journey, and I am trying so hard to take a break from it during my FET cycle I am going through atm too. Praying for success for both of us, for both the FET and break from evil dr G.

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  11. I'm glad that you are feeling so good! I will be praying for your turn!!

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  12. Oh hi, you. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling well leading up to transfer day! You sound ideal, actually. I'm with you. If you want something done, give it to a busy person, amirite? The good old inverted-U curve of anxiety and performance does not lie.

    This one has been a long time coming. I'm shooting all kind of positive, good vibe friendly fire your way!

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  13. I'm glad the timing is working out after all! And those events do creep up on you - the preparation takes forever, and then suddenly it's T-day... I felt this way with the IVF and I'm sure the FET will be similar. Fingers crossed for a wonderful outcome!

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  14. I'm just like you! I HATE being bored at work (anddd I usually am)... so I agree, it sounds like it's a good, healthy amount of stress that you have. Nobody could expect you to have NO stress, that's just crazy.

    Good luck Saturday. I'll be thinking of you!

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  15. Wow it's coming up! I'm super excited for this BFP to happen! Glad you will have M around for the transfer. How funny you had a heated argument about it (I guess not funny haha but just... interesting) since he wasn't there the first time. I find it also true for myself that I could go on and on and on if I had a busy day but once I had some down time, I would just want to sit or even take a nap. Human inertia that is. Again, I am super excited about this FET/BFP!

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  16. It's so soon!! But I don't need to tell you that. I'm thinking of you, crossing my fingers and hoping that this takes. And I'm glad that the timing works out so well--maybe the first time EVER in the history of IF. Doesn't it generally follow that treatments will usually fall at the most inconvenient time? I'm so excited for you!

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  17. Sounds to me like you're dealing well with the stress levels as they are right now - though I don't fully buy into the whole "stress-free" thing any more given that I have just been through the most stressful two months of my life and somehow my numbers are better than ever before. I loved reading infertilechemist's comment about how us DOR girls rarely make it to this point and how now we should have just as much chance for success as someone without DOR. Awesome! You deserve this. It's your time. I am crossing everything, (and I'll throw in a word for you with the man upstairs since he seems to be listening to me right now).

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  18. I agree I would rather be busy! I have read about the pros and cons of bed rest too. My doctor only required 24 hrs. But I kept second guessing what I should do. I didn't completely follow the rules. I got up some and did some stuff for myself. I say you do what you feel is right. :) Praying praying pryaing this is your time! Glad M will get to be there with you.

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  19. Ugh, I'm one of those people with a lot of downtime at work, and I do NOT enjoy it. Much rather be busy! I've actually read that there's apparently a perfect level of "stress"--you need enough to keep you motivated and busy, but not enough to overwhelm you. Hopefully you find that balance. Enjoy your days off either way!

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  20. Hoping this time sails by for you... and your 2ww!

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  21. Hoping for the best for you!!! And don't worry, you'll have plenty of time to Google during your three days of bed rest ;)

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  22. Fingers and toes crossed for you, friend. Sending sticky thoughts.

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  23. So it's been a week now! How are you doing? I'm working at catching up on all my blog reading. Hopefully the transfer went well and REALLY hoping for good news soon. I so hope for you Aramis.

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!