Monday, 18 May 2015

Beagle versus Baby*

It has been 6 weeks since my humans brought home the hairless puppy.  I have a feeling it's here to stay.  In hindsight, I should have known something like this was coming.  It certainly explains all those new stuffies that my humans brought home over the past few months that I wasn't allowed to play with (despite my best efforts).  Although the hairless puppy hasn't played with them either, so I don't really see what the big deal would be if I took borrowed them for a while.

As far as puppies go, this one is pretty useless.  It must be the runt of the litter or something.  In addition to being hairless, it can't even bark.  Most of the time it doesn't make any noise at all, and when it does it mostly just mews like a kitten.  Once in a while I've heard it let out an attempt at a howl, but it's really quite pathetic.  I've tried several times to teach it what to do by demonstrating some proper howls and barks, but it seems disinterested.  It also can't walk, but has to be wheeled around in some sort of cart.  Perhaps it is defective.

Actually, that would explain a lot, particularly the amount of time my humans seem to devote to it.  Ever since its arrival, the hairless puppy has taken up the bulk of my humans' attention.  I myself have only given it a few sniffs, and prefer not to be too close to it due to the fact that it appears to have no control over its flailing limbs.  Yes, yes, the more I think about it, the more I am certain that it is defective.

Ah well.  I suppose I must be content with my humans' reassurances that the hairless puppy will eventually be mobile and have access to food which it will certainly drop.  I await this day with anticipation.  In the meantime, I shall content myself with finding new uses for the hairless puppy's many accoutrements.  This contraption is actually quite comfortable, if I do say so myself.

Nursing pillows...not just for nursing anymore!

* this post authored by Buddy the dog

12 comments:

  1. Oooh Buddy you are cute. Nice to hear the Hairless Human doesn't mind sharing his accessories. Also that he doesn't howl too much lol.

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  2. Dear Buddy,

    Can we trade places? We remember the hairless puppies you speak of. They have since transformed into running, shrieking creatures who insist on pulling tails, slapping our faces and invading our space. The mere sight of them causes us to head for high places. And they stalk us constantly. Our humans are worthless on this level, only daying "gentle touch" and failing to teach what that actually means. Yes, the food on the floor and offered by small hands is nice, but what I wouldn't give for them not to raid out food too. Seriously Buddy, prepare yourself. And we're all about trading.

    Fondly yours,
    Jaxson and Daisy

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  3. This is so cute!!! Our poor baby pups whose lives really were turned upside down!! :)

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  4. Poor Buddy! (Although he does look super comfy and cute in that photo.) That hairless puppy will soon be chasing him around the house, and yes, dropping lots of nice treats!

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  5. I am already fretting about how our cats will react. It took Tyler all of 2 seconds to find his way in to the crib! Would like to see most posts from Buddy!

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  6. The nursing pillow seems like the perfect fit for Buddy! Ahh, how life has changed with the arrival of the hairless puppy.

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  7. This is hilarious.Buster probably thought the same thoughts as well as- "maybe if I lick the hairless puppy's paws he or she will do something fun? Hmmm nope."

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  8. Everything about this post is 100% adorbs. Including the photo of the guilty-looking pooch curled up with the nursing pillow.

    We used to joke that our dog would "eat the baby. Good lord, I'm hoping we're wrong!

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  9. Dear Buddy,

    Thanks for the head's up. My she-master keeps telling everybody I'm too stupid to realize she has a hairless puppy inside her right now, but little does she know, I'm plotting. They told me of these new stuffies you speak of and how I won't be able to play with them, but we'll see about that. That contraption looks really comfortable. I can't wait to get one myself and shed my fur all over it.

    Sincerely,

    Toby, the Cattle Dog

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  10. ha! you should publish this in a magazine somewhere.

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  11. Ha! I have a similar picture of my cat curled up in a nursing pillow. My dog mostly stayed away from them (and still does), but she does manage to steal their toys and take them out to the porch. The cats are so desperate for attention they hang out near the girls and even put up with all the tail pulling.
    Also, how the hell am I just now getting to a post you wrote 3 weeks ago? Sigh.

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!