Thursday, 31 December 2015

The year everything changed (and kept on changing)

Well, 2015, it's been a helluva ride.

I don't just mean that because it's the year we finally got to tell infertility to piss off as we welcomed our baby boy to our family.  Although of course that's a huge part of it, but it's really just the start.  Looking back on the past 9 months with Q, it sometimes blows my mind just how much change we've gone through on what seems to be an almost daily basis.  How can time seem to pass so slowly at times (I'm looking at you, 3am with a crying baby) and yet whiz by at others?  

When I have a quiet moment, I often catch myself reminiscing about certain stages or phases that Q has gone through in the past 9 months, or things we used to do with him that we don't anymore.  For instance, when he was first born he was such a sound sleeper that we used to keep his bassinet in the living room for the entire day, laying him down to nap in it while M and I (and often my mom or MIL) puttered about, watched TV, made dinner or did chores.  In the evening I'd feed him and then he'd fall asleep on M's chest as we sat on the sofa watching TV.  I'd doze off too, and M would eventually wake me and together we'd carry both Q and his bassinet upstairs to our bedroom for the rest of the night.  Over time, we started putting Q in the bassinet in our room at his bedtime, and we'd come up to bed later.  Then we started putting him in his crib in his own room, although when we went to bed we'd fetch him and transfer him to the bassinet just because we still wanted him close overnight.  Now, he's in his crib all night.  The bassinet still sits in our room, empty save for some baby blankets that Q no longer uses.  I'm pretty sure he wouldn't even fit in it anymore, and yet I can't quite bring myself to put it downstairs even though it would free up a ton of space.  It's as if moving it will somehow erase the memory of those early days.

Some changes have been momentous, like on Halloween night when all of a sudden we had a crawler.  Days later, he was pulling to stand.  Others have been more gradual, like Q (gloriously, blessedly, finally) stretching out his numerous 30-minute catnaps into two (mostly) solid daytime snoozes.  With each change, the old way of doing things disappears, our routine shifts, and we establish a new normal.  Then it all changes again.  Change IS the new normal.

I really owe you guys a proper update on Q and his development, and I really have no excuse other than now that I finally get an hour or two to myself in the middle of the day it's really damn nice to get to have a nap or read a book or just in general not feel like I'm rushing to get everything done.  I'll do a full-on 9 month update in January, I promise, if for no other reason than because I really want to document stuff for myself as well.  

In the meantime, I just want to wish everyone a (belated) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  Wherever you are in your journey, I wish you joy and happiness for 2016.  And if that seems impossible, at the very least a smidgen of peace and the fervent hope that next year everything will change for you too.


  1. It's amazing how fast they change. So many milestones in such a short period of time.

    Hoping your holiday was a wonderful one and wishing you an equally amazing 2016.

  2. I am so glad that I did my month-by-month Izzy updates because otherwise I would have totally forgotten by now what she did each month. Sounds like Q is doing great these days! Have a great NYE!

  3. So true, always change. I love AJ more at each new stage, somehow. But I do sometimes feel nostalgic for the single focus and innocence of early motherhood. It was ok then to give myself credit for getting through the day, but now there are so many balls up in the air and I second guess myself more. Ha, we kept our bassinet out for ages after it was outgrown too. One Mr Turtle hauled it down to the basement and that was that. I was dismayed but I can get into bed more easily now. Happy new year!

  4. We moved Kate into her crib this week and while I'm glad that she's in her own room, it was painful to see the empty bassinet in our room. After months of yelling at Tyler to get out of her bassinet, I'm encouraging him to jump in. I don't think I can bring myself to take it down yet.

  5. Lovely to see a post from you. Glad that you get some time to yourself these days when Q goes down for a nap. Much needed for sanity, eh? Happy new year to you, friend, and hoping for a very fun-filled year for you in 2016 as you will have a walker in the house. ;)

  6. This is absolutely true. Year changes. Wish you Happy new year. May this year brings that things in your life which yo want. :)

  7. We're in the 30 minute nap stage--you say it won't last forever? I occasionally look back at the early pictures of him in his car seat or stroller or swing and I sit in awe thinking about how tiny he used to be. Like Turtle, I love each stage more than the last--the laughing, the smiles, seeing him learn and think, but I do get wistful from time to time. We often refer to those first few months as "when he was a baby" Each time I say this I start laughing at myself. Happy New Year!


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