Thursday, 25 July 2013

Infertility: 1, Career Development: 0

Today I found out about a really good opportunity at work to get involved in a project in an area that I'm really interested in.  I was my manager's first choice to work on it and was pretty stoked about it, as it will set me up as something of an expert in this area down the road.  Then I found out the details.

I would need to be out of town for about 4 or 5 weeks, starting at the beginning of September. 

Which is exactly when I expect to be stimming and doing an egg retrieval for IVF #3.  

I called around and tried to find out if there was a way I could join in for the second part of September.  No dice.  At the end of the day, my manager (who is relatively new to me, so I haven't even really had a chance to get to know him yet, and certainly not talk to him about my medical issues) came to ask my decision.  I had to tell him why I was turning down the opportunity.  He was great about it, and completely understood and supported me, but still.  Someone else is now going instead.

Fuck infertility.  Fuck it in its big fat stupid fucking face.

.....

Today is CD22.  Because of my DOR, my cycles have been getting steadily shorter over the past year or two.  I, who used to be a 32 or 33-day girl, dropped to a nice even 28.  Then 27.  Then 26, with the odd 25 thrown in.  I'm holding out hope that I make it to at least CD26 this time around, since I have to be back from our beach vacation in time to catch my LH surge (which usually happens around CD9...early ovulation is another of the joys of DOR) so I can start the estrogen priming properly.  So far so good.  There's no sign of my usual pre-AF spotting.  Of course by typing this the universe has figured out what I want and will now screw me out of it.

.....

Thanks to everyone for the book recommendations!  You've given me lots of great ideas for the beach, as well as to keep me going when I get home.  We're staying at a pretty small cottage that doesn't have WiFi, so I'll likely be out of contact (no blogging or commenting) for the week.  What am I going to do without my IF blog fix???  Stay classy, ladies.  See ya in a week!

22 comments:

  1. Boo hiss. So frustrating having to choose. I hope another opportunity comes around for you real soon.

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  2. Sorry IF is screwing up your career. It tends to have its sticky fingers in all areas of ones life....

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  3. Stupid infertility. I'll kick it one more time on your behalf! I'm at least glad to know that your manager was understanding. Enjoy your beach vacation. Rest. Relax. Read. Repeat. :o)

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  4. Hope you have an amazing vacation. IF sucks ass. I'm sorry had to give up that project. :(

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  5. So sorry to hear about the job.... I hope it is worth it and IVF #3 is your BFP!!! Lucky #3!!!

    Let us know what books you choose and if you like them. Enjoy your relaxing beach vacation and soak up all the personal power you can in preparation for your next cycle :)

    p.s. I don't (think) I have DOR and my cycles are only 26ish days... should I be worried?

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    1. No no no! If your cycles have always been like that, then all's good in the hood. It's the change that's indicative of diminishing reserve. Plus, as far as I can recall, you always respond well to stims and get a good number of eggs. You have nothing to worry about!

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  6. Oh no. As if infertility didn't suck enough on its own, now it's going to interfere with your career? I'm glad your manager was understanding. Hope you have a great vacation despite this blow!

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  7. Gah! That sucks. Stupid infertility.

    Have a fabulous time on your beach vacation. We'll all still be here when you get back!

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  8. Boo. So sorry IF found another way to screw you. :(

    Have fun at the beach. I take off for a camping trip tomorrow, so I'll be sure to dip my toes in the lake and think of you with your toes in the ocean. :)

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  9. No words other than to say that sucks on levels that few people can comprehend. Very sorry. How vacation helps.

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  10. I hope you enjoy your vacation. the job thing has happened to me constantly. its a crappy spot to be in to give up on a chance for greater success and or do ivf tx. we all get it, but most would have no idea what we were talking about.

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  11. I'm so sorry about that job opportunity... I hate IF! I'm praying that it will all not even matter in the end. xoxo

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  12. UGH. I'm sorry about the job. IF sucks!

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  13. That just sucks, I'm sorry to hear this. Freakin' infertility.

    I really hope it ends up being worth it, and that more opportunities come up in the future. Everything happens for a reason, right (that's what I keep telling myself).

    Have fun on your vacation!!

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  14. have a great time! sorry about the job but at times like these you have to stick to your priorities!! enjoy the beach!

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  15. So sorry to hear you had a to give up a project you wanted. One must prioritize, but still....

    fuck infertility. (Feels good to say that sometimes).

    Wishing you the best on your cycles. I hope more opportunities come up in the future and you are able to jump on them! have a wonderful time on the beach and let go of some of the stress over cycle numbers if you can.

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  16. Sorry I've been such a bad commenter lately! Husband and I discussed our IVF plans at a baseball game. Sorry about missing out on the work opportunity, but it's awesome that you were selected, and I'm sure you'll get the nod again. Book recommendations: it touches on a bit of baby issues, but Tina Fey's Bossypants is one of the funniest books I've read. My REI waiting room book is Calvin Trilin's Dogfight which is a series of poems about the 2012 election -quick chapters, which makes for easy reading. I only read while waiting at my apts, so my RE thinks it's taken me a year to finish

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  17. That sucks about the job opportunity! I will give infertility a big punch in the face for you. I'm hoping this cycle works so it won't even matter and you won't care about the missed opportunity.

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  18. I echo what everyone else has already said. That sucks the biggest bag there is, but hopefully as you stare at your POAS results you wont care any more.

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  19. Hope you're enjoying your beach vacay. Looking forward to being cycle buddies in a few weeks.

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  20. It sucks to have to choose btw two big things like that. I had to do that during the high school softball season, putting off our last cycle, and then choosing the FET date over a potential playoff game. It paid off for me, so having to choose will hopefully pay off for you too!

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!