Wednesday, 9 July 2014

And now for something completely different

Today we transferred one hatching blastocyst graded 5AA.  We have four more blasts in the freezer.  FOUR!

Never had one of these pics to post before!!

We arrived at the clinic well in advance of our noon transfer time and had a quick meeting with the embryologist, who filled us in on our blasts.  In addition to the one we transferred, we had another top quality hatching blast and three more worthy of freezing.  For someone who's constantly been worried about having ONE left to transfer, five blasts seems like an embarrassment of riches.

The transfer went smoothly, although the one down side was that they didn't allow M in the room during the procedure.  I got to see our blast on a TV screen in the procedure room before the embryologist loaded it up, then the catheter went in and I saw the familiar but always breathtaking flash of light appear inside my uterus.  Mentally, I thanked the donor again and welcomed our embryo home.

The nurse wheeled me into the recovery room, where I was the only patient.  I lay in the quiet, darkened room, closed my eyes and tried my best to communicate with the tiny little ball of cells inside me.  I told it how much it was wanted.  I sent it mental images of its grandparents, its cousin, and M.  I wished he could be there with me, but the nurse had already left and I had no way to get him without getting up myself.  I just lay there and tried to send relaxing, calming, implant-y thoughts.  After about half an hour, I got up and got dressed, then M and I came back to the hotel where we've spent the afternoon chilling out and watching TV.

I want so much to believe that this time things will be different.  So far it has been.  Everything about this cycle has so completely exceeded my expectations that it almost feels like it has to work.  And when you have obvious egg quality issues like me, it's hard not to fall into the trap of thinking that you've fixed the problem by using donor eggs and therefore success is guaranteed.  It's not.  Far from it.  I've read enough of your donor egg stories to know that most definitely isn't the case.  The odds are better, sure, but they're still not even close to 100%.  I'm trying my best to be prepared for that.

And yet, I want to enjoy this optimism.  Because there's a reason to!  We transferred a top quality donor blastocyst made from 27 year old eggs today.  Also, while I don't put a whole lot of stock in this stuff, I've had so many people tell me that they have a really good feeling about this cycle.  That this is the one that will stick.  I want to believe that they know something I don't.  I want to believe they're right!

25 comments:

  1. Oh lady I am crossing literally EVERYTHING POSSIBLE on my body for this cycle. It has gone very well and I would LOVE for you to get your happy ending. I hope you 2ww flies by and that you have good news to share with all of us very soon!

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  2. I love seeing that little bit of optimism show through in your words. I have my everything crossed for this cycle and I'm thinking about you and M often. I can't wait to hear your good news!

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  3. So happy and excited for you guys! I am praying this is it for you. Hold on to that positivity because you are right there are a lot of reasons to believe this is going to work! Good luck on your 2ww. I hope it goes quickly for you and you are filled with peace.

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  4. I have to say, that is one amazing looking embryo! My heart is so excited and filled with joy right now. VERY HOPEFUL!

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  5. We're getting ready to do our 2nd IVF cycle with donor eggs. Wishing you much success with this round! Believe!

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  6. Congrats!!!! You have every reason to be hopeful! And even if it takes more than one transfer, there are very good odds that one of those blasts will be your baby! I hope it is this first one!! So excited for you!

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  7. Awesome news!!!! Be hopeful--it's more fun than being anxious! And you're right, all signs point to yes.

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  8. So excited and hopeful for you! That is one beautiful blast--and 4 more in the freezer? Amazing!

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  9. Congratulations! I have everything crossed for you!

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  10. Wonderful news! I'm hoping very hard for you, my dear. And yes, there is absolutely every reason to be very hopeful. :)

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  11. This is such exciting news. I totally hear you on communicating with the little embryo from the beginning. Why not? And such great results to have 4 frozen as well. Fingers crossed!

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  12. Excellent! It makes me so happy to see this update. Is there any possibility that you could pay to transport those frozen blasts back to your local lab? Or do you have to go back to the Czech for future transfers?

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  13. I can't tell you how happy I am for you! I am hoping and praying with all my might that this is it! You are doing very well, mama! Keep up the positive thoughts and I can't wait to see baby pictures next April!

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  14. Omg BURSTING with excitement over here!! That is one good-lookin' blast, I must say... so what are your plans in terms of testing/not testing? How long will you wait? Obviously it's impossible to know what will happen, but there have been a ton of studies on how a positive mentality affects outcomes in cases like these, so really hoping your good vibes continue!

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  15. You're posting so much I can hardly keep up - but YAY! Five is awesome! I hope this one will find a nice and cozy place in your uterus for the next 9 months, and then you can later come back for a sibling. Sending implantation-y vibes all the way across the world.

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  16. Beautiful! And I have a very good feeling. Am thinking of you and hoping for more good news very soon!

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  17. What a beautiful blast! It looks like the moon! So hoping that this works for you!

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  18. Wow that blast looks perfect! Enjoy this optimism, you have every reason to be happy. I really do have a good feeling about this... and 4 left? Wow!!!

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  19. I am so excited for you! I will be praying so hard that THIS is it for you. What a beautiful looking blastocyst!! XOXO

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  20. Great news!!!! A little bit of optimism can only help. :)
    I'm excited for you and hope hope HOPE this is it!!!

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  21. I am new to following your blog and I am so hopeful for you that this is the one. Safe journeys home.

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  22. More great news - yay! So happy that you have reason for optimism@

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  23. Good luck! I had my first-ever transfer about 10 days ago, and it's exciting to find someone who's also currently in the 2WW. Thinking positive thoughts for you, and I'll be following along!

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  24. Ok, I'm a little disappointed there won't be a meelion beelion babies, but deciding against the chance of twins is a totally rational decision. So excited for you and hope that little blast is snuggling in for the long haul. What does it feel like to have one transferred and still have 4 frozen? I can't even imagine. Sounds so dreamy :)

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  25. Congrats on your riches of 5 blastocysts! I know what you mean about that seeming like a lot when we struggle to just have one. It's too bad M was table to be with you during transfer, but overall it sounds like everything went smoothly! Wishing you all sorts of luck!!

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!