Sunday, 16 December 2012

Mixed Bag

This week was a pretty mixed bag of emotions.  I spent most of it out of town at a conference, where I was able to reconnect with a bunch of good friends that I haven't seen in a couple of years.  I was so happy to see them and catch up, but of course that inevitably results in me having to explain our infertility situation.  I managed pretty well at the start of the week, but on Wednesday I found out that a dear friend (who already has one gorgeous little boy) is now pregnant with her second.  What sucked was that I found out while at work, through a comment by someone else talking about my friend going on maternity leave next year.  My friend had actually intended to tell me herself that night over dinner at her house, as she has other friends who have gone through IVF and knew it would be emotional for me.  As it was, I had to be appropriately excited for her at work while fighting back the tears of jealousy and sadness that immediately sprung up.  The week kind of went downhill after that.

When I got home Friday night, I called my mom only to discover that my sister, who is in the middle of a miscarriage, had to be taken to the emergency room.  Her doctor had told her earlier in the week that she wouldn't need a D&C since it would be too invasive and everything would happen naturally anyway.  By Friday night, she was doubled over and having cramps that she says were worse than her labour pains with my niece.  She ended up in hospital on morphine until she eventually passed a clot the size of a lemon, at which point the pain pretty much subsided.  She's home and doing pretty well now, although very sore.  She's also pretty pissed that her doctor didn't warn her what was to come and didn't give her any painkillers in case this happened.  I don't have any experiences with miscarriage but it seems like a D&C may have been in order here.  I'm just glad she's doing OK now.

As for me, AF is due today but is nowhere in sight.  I haven't had my usual spotting either.  Before anyone gets excited, remember that my last cycle was my cancelled IVF.  Dr. Google tells me that what is probably happening is that my hormones are all screwed up and my cycle is going to be delayed (if it comes at all without further medical intervention, given my last experience with BCP!)  Does anyone else have experience with this?  The shittiest part about this is that we are ready to start IVF #2...but if my cycle is delayed too long, the clinic will be closed for Christmas holidays and I won't be able to get in for Day 3 bloodwork.  Which means everything gets pushed back to my next cycle in January.  Typical crap ass luck for us.

Sorry for such a bleary post.  It's just been that kind of week.  What happened in Connecticut is also weighing heavily.  My heart goes out to all the families.  

8 comments:

  1. Yup. It's been a shit week. But I hope things turn around for you so you can get IVF #2 started soon!

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  2. I am doing IVF #3 in January for sort of the opposite reason. My AF came too early! My RE is open over the holidays but took a vacation in the beginning of December. AF showed up early 2 months in a row, thus ruining our shot at a December IVF. Maybe it's for the best. I really wouldn't want to ruin christmas forever if it didn't work.

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    1. Yeah, I have to agree that I'm kind of glad I don't have anything really scheduled for this month and can just enjoy the holidays!

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  3. Yeah, first cycle after meds is pretty screwy for most people. Mine has made me feel like I'm at the rodeo, just trying to hang onto my body as it goes wild.

    If you're not already planning to, may I suggest using an OPK to figure out when you ovulate? If I hadn't done that, I'd be 3 days late now and my imagination would be going wild. But now I know I just need to wait a few more, b/c I ovulated almost a week later than usual.

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    1. OPKs have been hit-and-miss with me...plus this month I think I was so sick of thinking about it after the IVF that I just didn't want to bother. I tried to watch my CM but even that didn't act like it normally does. But funny enough, my imagination isn't even going anywhere...I guess I'm just so used to the idea that I can't get pregnant naturally that it's just stopped being a concern! I started spotting late last night, so somethin's a-brewin' down there. Just a matter of time.

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  4. I'm pretty pissed at your sister's doctor too. Miscarriages can be *extremely* painful and her doc should have given her at least some Vicodin to have on hand. He also should have walked her through what to expect. I can only imagine that on top of all that pain, your sister was terrified of what was happening. Perhaps once the dust has settled, you can gently mention that she might want to find another doctor. What he did is NOT normal... or right.

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    1. There was nothing gentle about it...I flat out told her she should get a new doctor. Unfortunately she's in a pretty small town and it's not really an option. She did have a meeting where she told her doc that she wasn't pleased with what happened, and got a pretty laid back, "Yeah, miscarriages are different for everyone" response. I just pray she never has to go through it again.

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!