Saturday, 1 December 2012

Out of the shadows

Huh.  So this is what having a blog is like.

I've been lurking around on infertility blogs for the better part of a year now.  What I've seen has alternately inspired me and scared the shit out of me.  This community has created a support system of hilarious, thoughtful and amazing women...and I want to be one of those.  But this community has also collectively experienced more suffering and loss than I've ever encountered in one place...and I definitely don't want to be one of those.  I guess I don't really get to pick though, do I?

I'm 36 and have been diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian Reserve (DOR).  My husband and I have been trying to conceive for just over a year, and we already have one failed IVF under our belt.  

I don't have a crystal ball.  I don't know if my membership in this horrible club will be long or short, if it will end in a quick success or in failure after failure after failure.  What I do know is that I don't want to do it alone.  I didn't choose to be here but I can choose to step out of the shadows and ask for help, and offer whatever I can in return.  Most of the time that will be snark and sarcasm, but I can be heartfelt at times too (like now).  Oh and cupcakes.  I bake a mean cupcake.

Bear with me as I get used to blogging and putting myself out there.  This community has already helped me through a lot without even knowing it.  I'm ready to try to return the favour.

6 comments:

  1. I am *so* glad you are here! We've all lurked. All wondered if we should join the club. All been afraid to make the plunge. I don't make promises often (like you said, no crystal ball) but I PROMISE you that you will never regret having this blog. The support and love you will receive and give is something that you cannot get anywhere else. Welcome m'dear.

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    1. That's just the most awesome first comment I could have possibly hoped for. Thank you so much!

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  2. I've also been lurking on the infertility blogs for a year or so, I've been married about 18 months, I am also 36, and yup, you guessed it, I also have diminished ovarian reserve. I haven't actually received that diagnosis, but with a highish FSH (17.9) and undetectable AMH (0.16 ng/ml), it seems obvious. And to top it all off, there's severe MFI thrown in there. If my next FSH test isn't too high, I'll start my first IVF in January. I haven't taken the blogging plunge, but just wanted to say and that I appreciate that you're opening up about your infertility. I wish you much luck.

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    1. Martha, I'm so sorry that you're in this crappy boat too. Getting those AMH results really is a kick in the ass, isn't it? I've strangely never had high FSH, but that's because my day 3 estrogen has always been through the roof instead which is just as bad. We also have some male factor too. I wish you all the luck in the world with your January IVF. I'll hopefully be going through the same thing at the same time so we can ride it out together, sista!

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  3. Welcome to the IF blogging community! I already like what I see so far on your blog so plan to continue following. I wish you what is hopefully a ton of success on your next IVF round.


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  4. Hi,

    Im a lurker from Australia. Ill be following your blog, just read some of your posts and most of them made me lol and some touched a chord. My husband has been diagnosed with azoospermia and after many tests, varicocele operation and biopsy, nothing was found. We have resorted to a donor and we are on the list but its a 2 year waiting list, so its just a waiting game now. Looking forward to following your blog entries and will be thinking of you as you go through this painful journey.

    MeltDown

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!