Tuesday, 5 March 2013

How to piss off an infertile

Yesterday I called my clinic to report Day 1 of my cycle.  Based on not one but two previous discussions with my RE, I was under the impression I'd be coming in for Day 3 bloodwork and ultrasound, and then starting Estrace for a transfer in a few weeks.

The first sign that something was amiss was when I got a message from the clinic saying, "Hi, we got your message about Day 1, but we don't have a protocol on file for you.  We're going to check with the doctor's office and call you back."

Fast forward about 6 hours.  It's now 3:15pm, and the clinic closes at 3:30.  Still no instructions about Day 3 or a prescription for Estrace.  I call them back.  The nurse puts me on hold and then tells me they've just gotten the protocol from my RE, and they'll call me in a few minutes.  15 minutes later I finally get the message on my clinic's call line.

"So you're doing an FET this cycle.  You'll be starting BCP on Day 5 and we'll figure out the rest of your schedule after that."

Hold the fucking phone.  BCP?  Where is this coming from?

I hang up and call the clinic again.  It's past 3:30.  They're closed.  I call my RE's office direct.  I get her receptionist, who takes a message and says my RE will call me back.  Finally the receptionist calls me back and says that my RE is going to change my protocol back to the one we originally discussed.  I ask why there was a change in the first place.  She doesn't seem to know, and suggests that it's really up to me which one I want to do.

Seriously?  I'm the fucking patient!  I want to do whichever one is going to work!!

I can hear my RE in the background so finally the receptionist just puts her on the phone instead.  She indicates to me that there are several FET protocols and we could either do the long one with BCP and Lupron suppression or the shorter one which just starts with Estrace.  She prefers the shorter one, but it depends on the results of my Day 3 workup.  I tell her (even though I shouldn't have to, because it's in my goddamn file) that I am an early follicle recruiter/ovulator and tend to have high Day 3 estrogen levels.  She says if that's the case then we may end up switching to the BCP and Lupron protocol, but we'll figure that out after my results tomorrow.  She never does end up answering my question about why my protocol was mysteriously changed in the first place.  Did she just rush it through since the nurses were bugging her, and didn't really think about it?

Either way, right now I am facing the very real possibility that I won't be doing an FET this month after all.  I might be on BCP and Lupron instead.  And this is making me very, very angry.  Why is this the first time that this issue is coming up?  I had a fleeting thought a week or two ago about my high Day 3 estrogen levels, but Dr. Google gave me no cases where an FET was cancelled for that reason so I figured it didn't matter.  They're only going to be pumping me full of estrogen anyway, so what's a little head start?  And if it is a problem (and one which I am well known to have) then why was an unsuppressed cycle ever under consideration at all?  Why did I not start BCP in February?  It is starting to look like we just completely wasted last month and put me through a totally unnecessary endo biopsy only to put me on suppression meds and possibly make me do YET ANOTHER ENDO BIOPSY after a BCP withdrawal bleed this month.  What the fuck is going on??

The worst part is that this means that this whole IVF #2 mindfuck will probably get to continue for yet another month.  I was ready to be PUPO in two or three weeks.  Now it's looking like six.  I started this IVF cycle in fucking January and won't have had anything put in my uterus until April???  Something is seriously fucked up with that.  My biological clock is ticking away and my RE is just frittering away months like they're nothing.  Bang up job there.  Fuckers.  

Fuck.

18 comments:

  1. Stupid Wordpress ate my first comment.

    I'm sending you an email - this sounds majorly effed up. Your RE needs to answer some questions for you pronto about what the hell she was thinking in not getting you on BCP last month if this was what would happen all along!

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  2. Oh, wow! You have every reason to be pissed!!! How the hell could that happen????

    IVF is stressfull enough without any communication issues. Having protocols changed just like that really blows my mind.

    Good luck with your scan tomorrow. I hope they'll at least take the time to explain to you the reason for their decision.

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  3. Yikes- that sounds frustrating!!! I would definitely have a long discussion with the RE to figure out what the best protocol for your body/hormone levels/etc would be.

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  4. Just reading your post made me angry. I can only imagine how you must be feeling. That is seriously fucked up. I really hope you don't have to go the lupron/bcp route (unless of course that's what will get you knocked up). Why wouldn't they start you on that last month? Do they think you enjoy getting an endo biopsy every month? Argh. So frustrated on your behalf.

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  5. I was swearing along with you! What the hell?? Why do they need to add to the already high stress level you are having? Ugh I would be so pissed.

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  6. That is SO frustrating! I hope your doctor knows that you are not happy. She needs to do something to turn this around for you - like make this work and get you pregnant! I'm sorry you had to deal with all of this, in addition to all of the other stress that comes along with infertility in the first place. Hang in there!

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  7. Don't hesitate to yell and scream until they sort this shit out! So frustrated for you!

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  8. GAWD!! I mean really, you'd think with the amount of money we spend on these treatments we could get our REs to simply review our charts before giving any recommendations!! I've had issues with my clinic too so I can sympathize with you... I am so sorry for this setback...

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  9. seriously i think you need to let them know how angry you are and how put off you feel letting the months go by. i have no advice except at my clinic day 3 e2 needs to be under 100 and no cysts and then y ou start estrace. in fact my one and only fet my e2 th enext cycle went crazy..why because i had been on estrace. the most important part, as i have been told, is building your lining and for fet..sometime i feel like these folks need to get how their errors affect our lives

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  10. Ugh! That's so frustrating! I'm sorry your clinic is jerking you around. And I so get how infuriating it is to have to keep putting things off and wait, wait, wait. I hope they get their shit figured out and get this show on the road!

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  11. I get so angry reading stories like this! You are every right to be mad as hell. How can these people not realize, in their line of work, that it's peoples' *lives* they're dealing with?? Your doctor needs to answer some questions, but it's so exhausting, with all the other emotions you already have to deal with, to somehow find the energy to fight. Thinking of you and sending fighting spirit! I hope it all gets worked out.

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  12. Seriously... don't you just love doing THEIR job FOR them? And for FREE? It's so fun! This would seriously piss me off, too. You do need to have a serious talk with these people and make sure they get their shit together. We put our trust in their protocols, most of us coming in blind, and we usually get more helpful information from fellow bloggers (at least, that's been my experience). I'm sorry this happened :(

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  13. Man, what the hell is wrong with them?! Sadly, this doesn't even surprise me... it's so confusing at our clinic with these two separate numbers/people we're supposed to call, I never know whether to speak with my RE's secretary or the nurses on the other side or what, and they close SO EARLY. I get this feeling like they have too many patients right now, too, and can't manage them all properly. ANYWAY -- I would highly recommend just doing the short protocol; if your estrogen is really high, can you not just take less Estrace? Seems like an obvious solution.

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  14. I'd be mad too. I've been in a similar situation and I feel that poor communication like that is not acceptable. Or changing protocols without a discussion. I just read on another blog that when you feel like your doctor is guessing it is time to switch. Do you think they are guessing?

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  15. What protocol do YOU want to follow??? Seriously, I could understand a discussion about it, but first, that conversation should have taken place a long time ago. Second, it's your RE's job to know what the best protocol would be. She is supposed to know more about it than you!! I would be so angry if I was in your shoes. To be so excited for cd1 to finally get here, only to be put off like that? Uggg.

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  16. I'm just reading this just now, and I hope you went on Yelp to rip them a new one.

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  17. I am so glad I found your blog. I googled "infertility" and "pissed off." Took me right to your post. I will be reading regularly as this is exactly how I feel today and doctors are bullshit. You are awesome. :)

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  18. I know i am responding to this about 2 years later than would interest you, but the exact same thing happened to me with my FET and i raised hell about it. And then they put me on the short cycle and i ovulated through the estrace, which apparently never happens. Anyway, i am fairly certain based on the things you have written that we are (were? i haven't got that far in your blog yet) at the same clinic, and i am wondering if we even have the same doctor. Actually sometimes i wonder if we are the same person, there is so much other stuff that we seem to have in common here including size and shape and spotting period and all...anyway. Thanks for writing this. I have been hitting the wall with my ability to deal with infertility (we are three years in) and your blog is really helping me.

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I'm needy and your comments validate me. Help a sister out!