Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Symptom check

I'm 4dp5dt.  I am doing my damndest not to obsessively symptom-spot.  We all know that it's extremely unlikely that I'd be feeling anything at this point anyway.  Besides, when I think back over the past year and a half of TTC, I realized that I've had just about every symptom in the book at some point while in a 2WW, and I've never once been pregnant.  So as a reminder to myself of how ridiculous this is, I thought I'd outline how I've fooled myself in the past.  Here goes!

Nausea?  Check! 
This one really had me.  I was eating breakfast one weekend and stopped mid-waffle, hit with an overwhelming urge to puke.  My stomach started churning, and I even broke out into a bit of a pre-vomit sweat.  Morning sickness!  I must be pregnant!  Right?  Wrong.  Apparently taking my prenatal vitamin too soon before food makes me nauseated.  It happened a few more times until I learned my lesson.

Cramps and twinges?  Check!
Obviously, every little ache and pull gets magnified a thousand times in my brain.  But one night I didn't even need to do that.  I was out for dinner with friends about 9 or 10dpo, and my abdomen started twisting itself into knots.  Knots, I tell you!  As someone who doesn't really get premenstrual cramping (yeah yeah, I suck, I get it), I was sure that this was it.  Nope.  I just went home and farted all night.  Both disappointing AND disgusting.

Sore boobs?  Check!
This one really kind of had me.  Again, you guys will hate me, but I don't get sore boobs before my period.  In fact, my boobs are remarkably non-sensitive.  During foreplay, M might as well be playing with YOUR boobs for all the reaction he gets out of me.  And yet one night when I came home from work, I popped my bra off and felt a distinct achiness in the girls.  Huzzah!!  I was so amazed by this new sensation that I kept feeling myself up all night.  Still sore?  *squeeze*  Yep!  And yet in the morning, it was gone.  The cause?  The old bra I had worn that day which was now slightly too small due to my infertility weight gain.  I don't wear that bra anymore.  It lies.

Vivid dreams?  Check!
If you read my Liebster responses a few months ago, then you know that weird dreams are par for the course for me.  So far during this 2WW alone I have dreamed that:
- M and I got into a huge fight because we saw David Tennant (one of the actors who played Dr. Who) and M wanted me to take a picture but my camera wasn't charged.  It turned into a yelling, screaming fight and we decided to get divorced.
- There was a Sons of Anarchy episode where the guys decided to kill one of the other club members (who in reality is already dead on the show) because he was annoying them about not being considerate and sharing food.  He brought croissants and they ate them all and didn't leave any for him.  If you've ever seen this show you know how ridiculous this is.
- I was playing Princess Leia in a Star Wars LARP (live action role play).  I had a wooden gun and I was being chased by Boba Fett through a mall food court.  I hid in one of those jokey t-shirt and mug stores.

(Side note:  I have no idea where this shit comes from.  While I have a healthy dose of nerd in me, I have never watched Dr. Who in my life and I've definitely never LARPed.  Not that there's anything wrong with you if you do. *cough*geek*cough*)

And then there's all of the "in my head" ones that I've convinced myself I've had at some point.  Increased sense of smell?  Check.  Metallic taste in mouth?  Check.  Unusual hunger?  Fatigue?  Increased urination?  Check, check, and check.

Sick and tired of this whole thing?  Check and mate.

22 comments:

  1. Yep. I'm with you on this one. I swear my brain makes this shit up because I so want it to be there. In fact, I'm certain that's what happens. Also, your comment about whose boobs M might as well be playing with had me rolling! Ha.

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  2. i totally understand i have every progesterone symptom despite failures. it is very annoying and i usually just want the whole wait thing to be over and move on. i am thinking pos ths for you

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  3. Hoping that you will see your two lines in a few days!

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  4. LOL.

    Progesterone is the worst thing on the planet. I mean, of course it's a good thing and very necessary, but it would be nice for the pharm companies to make something that doesn't have side effects that mimic pregnancy symptoms!!

    Good luck surviving the rest of the 2ww. Just keep telling yourself that there is nothing you can do at this point and it's too early to test.

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  5. I am 7dp5dt. Other than the progesterone symptoms (sore boobs, basically) I have no symptoms at all. The only thing I have had is my usual PMS migraine, which I think is a bad sign. It usually happens a few days before my period, and it happened yesterday (my blood test in Thursday so the timing is unfortunately what it usually is). Anyone have any thoughts or experience with that? I'm thinking this cycle is a bust.

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    1. I get the PMS migraine too. It's just about the only premenstrual symptom that I DO get. Always day before or first day of. But I've heard of lots of people who were positive that their period was on the way, only to find out they're pregnant. You're not out until the red lady sings!

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  6. I too, have convinced myself of every single symptom that there could possibly be, so I completely related to this post :)

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  7. We've all been there, focusing on every little twinge and feeling. I am hoping and praying that this is it for you, and I have a good feeling. It really sounds like you have all the symptoms. I was on a boat load of progesterone after my last IVF and I didn't have all the symptoms you list here. I hope you can survive the rest of your 2WW with as little stress as possible. Just remember, everything is out of your hands now. I look forward to reading your next updates!

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    1. Oops! I didn't mean to suggest that I have all of these symptoms right now. I just meant that I've had them (or convinced myself that I did) at some point in the past and it didn't mean squat since I've never been pregnant. Right now I have zilch, zip, nada. Except the crazy dreams, which are totally normal.

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  8. Oh lord, yeah, definitely try NOT to symptom spot. Also, the progesterone is the cause behind most of them anyway. When are you planning to test? I'm a huge fan of the 9dp5dt, because you get a clear yes or no, but you could probably do it at 8 days, too. So close, it's killing me!!

    Also, my husband discovered a LARPing organization in the West Bank of all places - they are proud to be Palestine's only LARPers. Except they're apparently sponsored by Norway or something. Total weirdness.

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  9. I've had all of those, except the incessant farting. Ha.

    I've never LARPed. Sometime I want to LARP with a bunch of non-LARPers and see what happens. It's like I played a 3-month game of D&D at work, and only one person actually knew anything about D&D. The rest of us just went around wanting to slay more monsters. Who cares about whether I should or shouldn't ask if there are strange smells emanating from the mysterious hole in the ground? Let's go kill some goblins. 'Cause then you get coins.

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  10. Symptom spotting is dangerous, but unavoidable, I suppose. We all do it. Aside from progesterone side effects, I didn't have any symptoms until a couple weeks after my beta. I felt pretty much the same this cycle as I did during my 2 failed cycles. So I wouldn't fret too much about symptoms or lack thereof.
    Are you going to pee on something or wait? I am so anxious to know!!! Gah!!

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    1. Yeah, I'm totally gonna pee. I'm not a big pee-er, but making me wait until next Friday is 14dp5dt, which is ridiculous. Like, 19dpo?? Crazy. You'd have to be brain dead to survive a wait that long.

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  11. JenS (and others) - did you feel you had PMS symptoms on your positive cycle? What about your negative ones?

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  12. Been there, been there, been there! Ugh, the 2WW is pure evil, for all that it puts is through. I'm always relieved to hear I'm not alone in the crazy symptom spotting.

    Sending good vibes your way!

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  13. omgoodness, I couldn't help but laugh really loud as I read this. Good job for making something so serious so funny! I've been thinking about you and wishing you strong baby vibes. Can't wait to find out!

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  14. I had many false sx that preceded BFNs and no sx before my surprise BFP -go figure! Wishing you the best!

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  15. Oh, the symptom spotting! As I've mentioned I had wayyyy more "pregnancy" symptoms before AF arrived than I did when I actually got a BFP. So awful. Wishing you the best and try not to get wrapped up in being hyper-tuned in to your body (I know, I know easier said than done).

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  16. I still can't tell the difference between hormone induced symptoms and real pregnancy symptoms. Try to relax and ignore it all as much as possible. Hoping for great things. Will you test?

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  17. I've been copping a feel of my boobulars all night. Because usually they DO hurt before AF. So maybe if they don't hurt a day before anticipated AF....well maybe I might be pregnant? But now they sorta hurt. But is it AF hurt or hurt because I've been poking them so damn much? Oy!

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  18. Oooooh, yeah. I'm with you on this one.

    Progesterone is a lying liar of lies. :(

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